When I was pregnant with Rhyan, people would tell me all the time how crazy life was going to be once I had two. An obvious statement, yes. While I knew my world was going to become more hectic, I also thought: “I’ve got this, because hey, newborns sleep a lot! I won’t really be sweating until Rhy is 3-months or so.” Boy was I wrong. Welll, yes and no.
Rhyan is turning out to be a super easy baby compared to Logan at his age. She usually wakes up once a night, nurses, and goes right back to sleep. Logan was on a two-hour schedule and he usually took the first half to eat and the second to go back to sleep, ha. I also appreciate that she nurses until she’s full, and then comes off the boob. Logan I think nursed for both nourishment and comfort, in that he’d nurse to take a nap or go to sleep at night.
The part of two babies under two that I underestimated is Logan and the changes he’s going through. He’s adjusted fairly well to us bringing a new baby home (I was really worried he would be super jealous and resent me). For the most part, he’s been pretty welcoming of Rhyan. He loves to give her kisses or play with her, although sometimes he doesn’t realize how much stronger he is. And of course, there are moments where he gets jealous: i.e. when he wants attention, but I’m holding Rhy and can’t pick him up right away or if she’s laying on my chest and he wants snuggles.
What I didn’t account for was this tantruming stage he seems to be going through, although I think this is partially linked to his molars coming in. We’ve had a really rough week. Thankfully the bottom molar has made an appearance and our happy baby is back. For now. This morning it was tantrum city again as I tried to change a poopy diaper. There were full on tears, screaming, trying to flip over on the changing table, and of course, reaching his fingers down to grab at his balls/butt and subsequently getting poop all over his hands. In the background or rather fighting equally for attention was a screaming Rhyan, who wanted to be picked up.
As I drove Logan down our naptime route (that’s the only way we get him to take a nap these days), my hair a mess and pretty sure I smelled like poo from the diaper changing/immediate shower battle that just ensued, I cried. Motherhood is hard. But, in the same vein it’s also incredible. Through tears of frustration I thought about the last few days. They’ve been tough, but also happy. Such an oxymoron. That’s life with kids though. Happiness is walking down the hallway in our house behind Logan who was holding Myles’ and my mom’s hand, having him turn around to see me and Rhyan and stretch out his hand (without letting go of my husband’s) for me to also hold. It’s Rhyan and I snuggling on the couch for a morning nap. And it’s Logan (through gestures because he can’t form sentences yet) asking me to put his sister in his lap so he can “hold” her. My heart melted as I watched him give her kisses on her head, point to her nose, and hold her hand.
Life with two under two is everything you’d think: crazy, wild, beautiful, frustrating, hard, happy, and I think the most important — an abundance of love. Seeing those two little faces look up at me with such unwavering love makes the tough days all worth the while.